A wonderful Burbank home haunted by no less than three ghosts. Each visit in their own time but overall they are a wonderful addition to the family. The many stray cats will serve as both protector from and captor of ROUSs but as long as you keep the kibble buckets full the overall noise from their fights can generally drown out the low moaning sound that emanates from the attic. The bathrooms are a little noisy as the showers will turn on without your help but if you are pragmatic about the situation this can be viewed as a self cleaning feature of the bathrooms (be sure to spray the room with cleaner and burn sage when you leave, otherwise the a strange red good will weep from the cracks in the walls). After about 15 minutes the showers will stop, the toilets flush profusely about 5 or 6 times and after the room lights strobe for a moment and the door slams, your room is done. Under no circumstances should you enter the room without knocking. Never leave a room without asking permission first (just don't, you will be held back in the room by your hair or your scalp). To keep things simple we have discovered you could leave a red light on in at least one corner of the room you were in and the whole permission thing seems moot. Each bedroom is already equipped with a floor standing lamp that you can turn on (if you choose to ever turn it off). The kitchen is gorgeous but meat will tend to rot quickly if you turn your back on it and you happen to have left it out. This can be easily prevented by "asking for help" and always leaving a hot iron skillet on the stove whenever you are working with food in the kitchen. If you manage to leave the hot skillet and turn your back with the correct ingredients left out your food will most often be mostly prepared when you turn to face it again. Again, the iron skillet is key, otherwise your pot roast will end up inside out on the ceiling. Also, do not cook with pets or small children in the room with you as the same rules of meat have a tendency to apply if you turn your back on them as well. Most portholes and passages to the "other" world have been closed but we left the basic foundation of the ether waypoints in place so they can be reopened if you simply remove the correct false wall while reciting the necessary incantations. Better to have it than need it. There is a crack in the driveway that needs to continuously be re-packed with salt to keep the smell of sulfur to minimum but lately with the drought it has become less and less of an issue. I also highly recommend the local ice cream man. His hours are a little unorthodox (midnight - 4am) but worth it for the treat, Though I wish he would play real music from his truck instead of that old laugh track at the incorrect and inconsistent RPM. One of these days I will get him to pull back that hood, remove his mask and we can have a real face to face about this. In the meantime remember to keep all your buttons, he doesn't take dollars for some reason, he only accepts buttons into the "palm" of his left hand.
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