Last week my tenant gave me this incredible brownie. It must've been double chocolate chip (I'm allergic to chocolate) because that night I realized I was actually a cloud over the Mediterranean Sea that briefly gained consciousness and dreamt up my entire human existence. Then, an errant breeze tussled my ephemeral sentience into the summer night. It was transcendent. Unfortunately, you probably lack my chocolate allergies so your best chance at a transformative experience is renting this lush, completely remodeled four bedroom, two bath apartment. Think of the person you'll become. Waking up in your 3,800 thread count organic unicorn fur sheets as the morning sun kisses your well rested cheeks from the large second floor windows overlooking UWM campus. Roast coffee shop across the street beckons, but first you freshen up in one of your two stunning bathrooms. Sure, mom will say on move in day that you lack the refinement for such a beautiful kitchen; however when she returns months later she will eat those words along with your prize winning scrambled eggs that you perfected in your incredible new kitchen (which happens to have a dishwasher). There's free in-building laundry so you can also show her you're learning important life skills like cleaning Hot Pockets stains out of your Snuggie. We even offer garage parking so you can attend cool people things like masquerade balls and American Girl Doll tea parties. Apologies for the unusual ad, I'm still getting over that time I became a self aware cloud, but I hope the pictures speak for themselves. You've got to check this apartment out! Plus, if you bring magical adventure brownies to our showing I'll give you a free month's rent. I think my tenant said she made them in a pot. Not sure if that's important.
This property is off market, which means it's not currently listed for sale or rent on Zillow. This may be different from what's available on other websites or public sources.
