I usually refrain from commenting on our tenants' interior design choices, but we hired a professional photographer and asked them to tidy up like Mom was coming for Thanksgiving. So fair game, yea? Besides, I can't escape the tragically beautiful bedroom wall art metaphor of two raccoons haplessly trying to paddle their canoe out of a bedroom unfit even for creatures that subsist on garbage cart smorgasbords. Poor little guys, eternally stuck in place on the wall of what would otherwise be a spacious and inviting bedroom. Or perhaps they're trying to reach the precariously small bookshelf safeguarding those Captain Crunch cereal boxes from the ocean of bath towels on the floor. Albert Camus would know. It's ok, this apartment has four equally spacious bedrooms so you don't have to fight over who gets the "raccanoe" room. Look at the enormous living room where you too can have a year-round Christmas tree decorated with your prized empty Bud Lite cans to impress mom. Those are surely tears of pride she weeps. Just a block from UWM, you could even earn a college degree in case your dreams of hosting an HGTV interior design show don't materialize. You'll also get a spacious kitchen with a huge pantry that easily fits 17 large pizza boxes when properly stacked on a sturdy foundation of garbage bags. Protip: fill your garbage bags with load bearing Bud Lite cans. And if you zoom in on the boxes, you'll see we have plenty of pizzeria choices within walking distance. Ok, so picture day didn't go as planned, but the apartment has so much potential, an amazing location and we have seriously good professional cleaners. Bonus, we already cleaned and painted this now-vacant unit to take some work off your imagination.
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