Before I tell you about this INCREDIBLE 5 bedroom, 2 bath apartment we need to have a heart to heart talk. You're probably thinking, "Stan, you don't know me. I bet you can't even guess what socks I'm wearing!" You're right I don't know you and I ardently hope your socks have cute puppies furiously working on their taxes because only a sociopath wants to see puppies jailed for tax evasion. But I do know you're looking for a 5 bedroom apartment which means you've reached peak coolness. The last time I had four not-imaginary people who wanted to share a couch with me was 1994 at Blockbuster when I was holding the last copy of Mrs. Doubtfire and I squandered that opportunity. Look at me, I'm peddling apartments on the internet for crepes sake. You've probably heard the scary campfire story about the boy who squandered his Mrs. Doubtfire movie rental and became an emotionally tormented property manager. Yeah, that's based on me. Do you even know what Blockbuster was? Nevermind, the point is you need to choose your house and roommate's carefully. This will have life-altering effects. What if you pick the wrong roomies? At least with five bedrooms, you've got four chances that one roomie becomes someone worth knowing in 10 yrs. Also, you need a gorgeous, big living room with a magnificent fireplace and newly refinished hardwood floors to hang out and create fond memories to reminisce when you're old and lame. Plus you need two floors so you can hide when someone brings a really annoying date home. Two full bathrooms are a must because we both know you didn't wake up this beautiful. And two sets of free washers/dryers because you have all those stylish clothes for which I'd lack the self esteem to wear. Did I mention this ridiculous location? Right across the street from campus (Vogel Hall to be precise). You can literally walk down the street to Stone Creek, Sendiks and Boswell Books on Downer. Also some idiot down the block thinks a computer gaming place is a good business idea so that's happening. Sorry, I'm just resentful that I have no free time for frivolous video games because I'm too busy pursuing a frivolous reality. There's absolutely no excuse for the vape store next to it, though. Milwaukee needs another vape store as much as it needs another KIA dealership. Your time shall come strangely branded caveman vape store! I think it's clear you need this apartment, yeah? Great, let's book a showing and if your socks have puppies doing taxes I'll buy you the matching puppies on a couch watching Mrs. Doubtfire cardigan.
This property is off market, which means it's not currently listed for sale or rent on Zillow. This may be different from what's available on other websites or public sources.
