(Cue bass riff: "ba-dum-bum-bum-bum") INT. MONK'S CAFE DAY Jerry and George are in their usual booth. George is red-faced, out of breath, holding an apartment listing. GEORGE: I found a place, Jerry. Fifth floor. Walk-up. JERRY: Fifth floor? That's not an apartment, that's a fitness program. GEORGE: They said it's "full of character." You know what that means? It's old. It's creaky. It's got more history than a Civil War reenactment. JERRY: But hey, look on the bright sidethink of the exercise. You'll be in great shape. GEORGE: Exercise? I'll be dead by the second floor! I'll need a sherpa to get my groceries home. JERRY: Says here it's "bright and airy." That's because you're basically in the clouds. You're living among the pigeons now. GEORGE: Oh yeah, plenty of light up thereuntil I pass out halfway and never see it again. JERRY: It's in Yorkville. Quiet street. Near the Q train. GEORGE: Sure. I just have to roll down five flights of stairs to get there. JERRY: And lookclose to Carl Schurz Park, cafes, restaurants GEORGE: None of which I'll ever visit again, because once I'm home, I'm staying there. JERRY: You know, they say New Yorkers pay for location. You're paying for elevation. (George glares at him, defeated.) GEORGE: Fine. I'll take it. But if I die climbing those stairs, I'm haunting the super. JERRY: Just make sure you don't run out of breath before you start haunting. (Cue bass riff: "ba-dum-bum-bum-bum") Contact Andy asap for a showing
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