OKAY, TENANTS ARE BUYING A HOUSE AND HAVEN'T MOVED YET. NO SHOWINGS UNTIL THEY DO. IT'S TOTALLY INVASIVE TO SHOW OCCUPIED HOUSES (and we do really like our tenants and want to keep them happy as they have made us), SO I WILL SIC MY DOG ON YOU IF YOU ADK FOR A VIEWING. Zillow farms phone numbers, so don't call the number posted under my name. Call the number listed under 'amenities'. 90% of calls don't go through if you call the phone number they assigned me FOLKS, THIS IS A ONE BEDROOM PLEASE NO EMAILS OR TEXTS, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY! IF I happen to already be on the phone when you call, I MIGHT send you one of those auto-texts that says I'll call you back, but PLEASE leave a voicemail, because, let's face it, cellphones suck sometimes and your call may not even have gone through and I'll have no clue you called. Unless you get my auto-text thingy. If you actually call, you're already ahead of 60% of the people who see my ad, are interested, yet STILL email me Oh, but keep the calls between 9:00am and 9:00pm. You wake me at 6:14am because of time zone issues, I don't care if you are the kind of tenant gifted from the sweet baby Jesus on High, I'm not renting to you. 'Nuff said, on with the details.... Beautiful, redone cottage that has new kitchen, wood floors in the main room, tile in most of house, lots of storage. Dishwasher, tons of light, fenced yard, washer and dryer in unit (with enough spare space to chuck your unmentionables when company suddenly appears at your door). Or, we can remove the set if you already have your own. In Lakewood in the prettiest neighborhood.This is a very unique property, you don't see rentals like this every day. House is staged so you can see how pretty you can make it look. Yard is crap, I'm not going to lie, I kill everything, but look at it as a blank slate. Knock yourself out, it couldn't be any worse than my pitiable efforts. All pets allowed with small pet rent (no additional deposit required). As long as they're friendly, they're welcome (except chickens. Love 'em, but they're a MESS!). German Shepard's, Pitt bulls, unicorns? They're all welcome! Oh, and its a month to month lease, so if you should up and decide to chuck it all and move to Fiji, you've got an easy out. We ask for a twelve month minimum (this is a pretty cool arrangement, call and it'll be explained), but this is negotiable. No smoking please. No texting either, I'm old school. I don't reply to emails either (as I mentioned earlier). I know, it's awful, but no one ever picks up the phone when I call them, so I'm sick of trying. YOU call ME. It's not so bad. Call Available on Immediately Look at the amenities for my number. Dog not included in rent, but you can make me an offer (he's kind of a butthole anyway).
This property is off market, which means it's not currently listed for sale or rent on Zillow. This may be different from what's available on other websites or public sources.
