Let's see what Zillow finds fault with this ad. Apparently, my last ad (though similar) was an affront to Zillow/nit-pickers/people lacking the ability to take a joke. Not saying I wouldn't rent to any of the aforementioned people, Heaven forbid! It's just that I had to scrutinize what EXACTLY was so unholy and disturbing in my original posting. Let's see if this version makes the cut. FOLKS, THIS IS A FOUR BEDROOM HOUSE (call the number listed in amenities- and I'll know if you cheat and call the Zillow posted number) PLEASE NO EMAILS OR TEXTS, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY! IF I happen to already be on the phone when you call, I MIGHT send you one of those auto-texts that says I'll call you back, but PLEASE leave a voicemail, because, let's face it, cellphones suck sometimes and your call may not even have gone through and I'll have no clue you called. Unless you get my auto-text thingy. If you actually call, you're already ahead of 60% of the people who see my ad, are interested, yet STILL email me. Oh, but keep the calls between 9:00am and 9:00pm. You wake me at 6:14am because of time zone issues, I don't care if you are the kind of tenant gifted from the sweet baby Jesus on High, I'm not renting to you. 'Nuff said, on with the details.... Gorgeous 4 bedroom, spacious, stand alone house with fenced yard (not shared) that has new kitchen, tons of storage, quartz counters, new stainless steel appliances, and rooms galore to roam in your underwear (because the neighbors either don't mind, or too far to see through your windows). It's a great place to store all your crappity crap that you can't bear to part with, but would probably make you quite a few bucks if you ever got around to putting it on Offer Up, but no judgement here (I've got my own messes to deal with). Fenced yard, washer and dryer in unit (with enough spare space to chuck your unmentionables when company suddenly appears at your door). Or, we can remove the set if you already have your own. Located on the North East side of Tacoma that's central to EVERYTHING!! Fast access to I5, the downtown, wherever. This is a very unique property, you don't see rentals like this every day. And SO safe! You'll see what I mean if you decide to tour the property. Oh, and for a small fee, room for RV parking! All pets allowed with small pet rent (no additional deposit required). As long as they're friendly, they're welcome (except chickens. Love 'em, but they're a MESS!). German Shepard's, Pitt bulls, unicorns? They're all welcome! Oh, and its a month to month lease, so if you should up and decide to chuck it all and move to Fiji, you've got an easy out. We ask for a twelve month minimum (this is a pretty cool arrangement, call and it'll be explained), but this is negotiable. No smoking please. No texting either, I'm old school. I don't reply to emails either (as I mentioned earlier). I know, it's awful, but no one ever picks up the phone when I call them, so I'm sick of trying. YOU call ME. It's not so bad. One year lease, tenants responsible for all utilities. Massively pet friendly, yard upkeep will be tenant responsibility.
This property is off market, which means it's not currently listed for sale or rent on Zillow. This may be different from what's available on other websites or public sources.
